Still working on my “blogging” skills i.e. posting more regularly. Funny how things in life worth sharing also seem to be so beyond words. Where do I begin to talk about the last couple of months! What a ride. It can be summed up in one word – GURUJI! Or then I can attempt to capture those most precious moments of life in a jumble of words …
The last 11-12 years of my life have been full of Guruji’s presence and guidance. I always felt loved and cared for, and kind of just knew that I will be taken care of. But then there are those times when you really need to be taken care of – and that’s when I have perhaps just begun to understand what being taken care of means. Even then I feel I am only just scratching the surface of the depth of Guruji’s love and care. It has been so beautiful and overwhelming.
Since Guruji has come into our lives (shortly after Aditya and I got married in 1999), life has truly been smooth sailing. And then the last 2-3 months were tough to say the least – for various reasons. I have always been courageous, but for the first time in my life I really felt that I didn’t have it in me to make any effort and just wanted to be carried like a baby. That was my prayer to Him – and how it manifested! Every moment since then has been exactly that. He just filled every moment with love, beauty, caring, and wisdom.
The last month in Bangalore Ashram, all he has done is spend time with us, made everything so effortless and smooth (unlike our initial experiences in the Ashram years ago), and just pampered us. He didn’t give us any work or responsibility. Last time he was going away for a few days he told us to do some asanas and relax! Not once has he walked by us without finding some way to bathe us in his love. On walks, in his Kutir, in his car, on the way to and from satsang …
As soon as we arrived, he asked us to sit in the TRM here. 2,000 part-time teachers! And this was 1 out of 3 groups the Indian teachers were split into. A roomful of devotion, love, commitment, celebration … it can really open up any smallness in you. Really, everyone should spend a few months in this Ashram. It can do wonders to you on every front. The knowledge he shared was so beautiful. And of course as so many of us have experienced so many times, every word personalized. Just what I needed to hear… opening up each little bit of smallness, every little knot in the mind so gently and yet so precisely. And so consistently, day after day, with so much patience! He led another beautiful session on how to deal with volunteers and create that sense of family – it was such validation of how we have been doing things the last several years. And to know that without being explicitly taught these things, we were being guided so beautifully every moment of the last several years.
And in-spite of all the knowledge, wisdom, greatness, grandeur of who he is and what he does, all he has been to me in this last little while is that delicate combination of mother and friend. Above all, just a normal person! He has listened, comforted, understood and just been there! Never once did he preach to me. No expectation of how as a person “in knowledge” I should be. Again and again he gave the most practical and real solutions. And just patiently waited and supported. Just two days ago, I sat outside the Ashram Ayurveda Center feeling blissed out, feeling like everything around me was moving in slow motion and feeling waves of gratitude engulf me. And I felt – time to do some seva now. It’s like he just hit “Ctrl Alt Delete” like only He can in such a short span of time.
There are just so many little precious moments shared, instances of intimacy, joy, playfulness… Maybe I’ll find the words to share more later…
The last 11-12 years of my life have been full of Guruji’s presence and guidance. I always felt loved and cared for, and kind of just knew that I will be taken care of. But then there are those times when you really need to be taken care of – and that’s when I have perhaps just begun to understand what being taken care of means. Even then I feel I am only just scratching the surface of the depth of Guruji’s love and care. It has been so beautiful and overwhelming.
Since Guruji has come into our lives (shortly after Aditya and I got married in 1999), life has truly been smooth sailing. And then the last 2-3 months were tough to say the least – for various reasons. I have always been courageous, but for the first time in my life I really felt that I didn’t have it in me to make any effort and just wanted to be carried like a baby. That was my prayer to Him – and how it manifested! Every moment since then has been exactly that. He just filled every moment with love, beauty, caring, and wisdom.
The last month in Bangalore Ashram, all he has done is spend time with us, made everything so effortless and smooth (unlike our initial experiences in the Ashram years ago), and just pampered us. He didn’t give us any work or responsibility. Last time he was going away for a few days he told us to do some asanas and relax! Not once has he walked by us without finding some way to bathe us in his love. On walks, in his Kutir, in his car, on the way to and from satsang …
As soon as we arrived, he asked us to sit in the TRM here. 2,000 part-time teachers! And this was 1 out of 3 groups the Indian teachers were split into. A roomful of devotion, love, commitment, celebration … it can really open up any smallness in you. Really, everyone should spend a few months in this Ashram. It can do wonders to you on every front. The knowledge he shared was so beautiful. And of course as so many of us have experienced so many times, every word personalized. Just what I needed to hear… opening up each little bit of smallness, every little knot in the mind so gently and yet so precisely. And so consistently, day after day, with so much patience! He led another beautiful session on how to deal with volunteers and create that sense of family – it was such validation of how we have been doing things the last several years. And to know that without being explicitly taught these things, we were being guided so beautifully every moment of the last several years.
And in-spite of all the knowledge, wisdom, greatness, grandeur of who he is and what he does, all he has been to me in this last little while is that delicate combination of mother and friend. Above all, just a normal person! He has listened, comforted, understood and just been there! Never once did he preach to me. No expectation of how as a person “in knowledge” I should be. Again and again he gave the most practical and real solutions. And just patiently waited and supported. Just two days ago, I sat outside the Ashram Ayurveda Center feeling blissed out, feeling like everything around me was moving in slow motion and feeling waves of gratitude engulf me. And I felt – time to do some seva now. It’s like he just hit “Ctrl Alt Delete” like only He can in such a short span of time.
There are just so many little precious moments shared, instances of intimacy, joy, playfulness… Maybe I’ll find the words to share more later…
